While at a get-together today someone mentioned something that caused me to have a ptsd flashback
it lasted a few seconds. Right after that I dissociated and have been in a dissociative state for the rest of the day. I was able to acknowledge conversation and contribute some but I felt far away. I was invited to go paddle boarding and kayaking after the hangout and I declined, saying I needed to get some work done. I just had nothing else to give. I’ve mostly just sat in silence for the rest of the day.
I reached out to someone who knows all the details, because I wanted to feel not as alone, but they’re busy getting ready for a business trip.
I feel sad and alone. It feels so unfair that the mention of a name can shut me down after 23 years. I’m frustrated that I didn’t get the chance to enjoy the rest of my day with people I love.
I know it’s just a day, and not every day is like this, but it sucks so much that this is still a part of me
I reached out to someone who knows all the details, because I wanted to feel not as alone, but they’re busy getting ready for a business trip.
I feel sad and alone. It feels so unfair that the mention of a name can shut me down after 23 years. I’m frustrated that I didn’t get the chance to enjoy the rest of my day with people I love.
I know it’s just a day, and not every day is like this, but it sucks so much that this is still a part of me
