Personally, I completely understand what you’re going through. I used to have obsessive thoughts that ruined my life and controlled every aspect of it. It wasn’t until I checked Myself into a mental hospital and started receiving treatment that everything changed. For me medication was a huge help and that’s what I’d recommend for everyone. If you’re really struggling I’d really suggest seeing a psychiatrist and talk about your struggles. You’ve got this and if it’s an emergency like you have a plan to take your life, I’d consider checking yourself in somewhere so you can receive the help that I did. You’re stronger than you think and I can promise you that you have got this!