I Suffer From Ocd and Anxiety
I don't know what should I call it, but I have got into an "anxiety loop". My obsessive thoughts starts with a pattern and when I don't respond to it or don't work according to it, it constantly keeps bullying me. But if I respond to it, it takes me to another obsessive thought related to the previous one. And I feel like- because of what I did what ocd told me to do, something bad might happen this time. Yes, I get ocd about OCD itself!
My daily life has been ruined. I can't act properly on social activities. I can't pass a day without anxiety. My academic life is f*cked up because of constant overthinking and not paying attention to actual study. I tried to study but can't concentrate with this sheer anxiety in my head.
I feel inferior because I fear almost anything. Anything and everything. As much as ocd is mental problem, the effects of it are physical. I try to avoid many situations which are not dangerous or bad, but still I fear them.
Fear and anxiety, they are like my soulmates feeding on me from my birth. I got conscious about ocd at the age of 18. Right now I'm a 23 years old male adult who has no confidence, no bravery, no good college result, no passion who lives in fear and feels like shit. Yes, I can still communicate with people (like with my friend) wearing a mask of laughing. I just create jokes and talks as if I were fine and okay. Nothing's wrong with me. But deepl down I don't connect with anyone. I can't share about my problems with anyone. Because no one understands me.
What a life! I am too fearful of death, so I can't commit suicide. I only wish to one day sleep and never wake up again. I feel like I am trapped with all these sufferings. I feel like I am in hell.
My daily life has been ruined. I can't act properly on social activities. I can't pass a day without anxiety. My academic life is f*cked up because of constant overthinking and not paying attention to actual study. I tried to study but can't concentrate with this sheer anxiety in my head.
I feel inferior because I fear almost anything. Anything and everything. As much as ocd is mental problem, the effects of it are physical. I try to avoid many situations which are not dangerous or bad, but still I fear them.
Fear and anxiety, they are like my soulmates feeding on me from my birth. I got conscious about ocd at the age of 18. Right now I'm a 23 years old male adult who has no confidence, no bravery, no good college result, no passion who lives in fear and feels like shit. Yes, I can still communicate with people (like with my friend) wearing a mask of laughing. I just create jokes and talks as if I were fine and okay. Nothing's wrong with me. But deepl down I don't connect with anyone. I can't share about my problems with anyone. Because no one understands me.
What a life! I am too fearful of death, so I can't commit suicide. I only wish to one day sleep and never wake up again. I feel like I am trapped with all these sufferings. I feel like I am in hell.
26-30, M
