Narcissist logic

There's a former coworker who asked me for $500 years ago, then got upset when I asked her what it was for ("Why are you asking me? I thought we were friends, you don't trust me?"). At the time, she told me she'd give me more details but then just started ignoring me, until I started ignoring her in return. That was years ago, and she's spent the time since sending me self-pitying messages about how it was all a misunderstanding, each time I tell her I'm not interested in being friends.

Last month I left the company and she sends me yet another message about how we're true friends and shouldn't let misunderstandings get in the way. So I just ask her, what's her version of this "misunderstanding", she writes back without answering my question, just asking why I stopped talking to her. So I just remind her of the sequence of events andask her where she sees this "misunderstanding".

She just doesn't reply, which is fine by me, but wtf is with these narcissists trying out their lies over and over. Personally if I were in her shoes and sent that last message, I don't think I could look in the mirror knowing I tried to push a lie and it was so blatant I couldn't even explain myself. It's like these people are constantly chasing a life inside their own lies, since a waste of existence.

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Graylight · 51-55, F

How is she a narcissist?

plungesponge · 41-45, M

@Graylight She felt entitled to just ask me for money and receive it without having to explain what it was for. Then she ghosted me in an attempt to guilt me, which she then tried to undo when I started ignoring her in return. She eventually forces a conversation where she doesn't apologize at all, instead blaming it all on a misunderstanding (my misunderstanding, of course). I tell her several times over years that I'm not interested in being her friend any more, and she still tries the same tactic on my last day of work of trying to rewrite history by calling it all a misunderstanding. I treat her unsolicited message as a genuine attempt to understand the situation, remind her of the sequence of events and ask her where she sees a misunderstanding, and she doesn't reply. Her worldview is all just about herself, she behaved poorly and doesn't want to accept that her behavior lead her to burn a former friendship.

Graylight · 51-55, F

@plungesponge Everything you mention requires action or acquiescence on your part. She's not a narcissist;she's emotionally immature.

plungesponge · 41-45, M

@Graylight She asked me for money and I asked her what it's for. She got upset at that, firstly saying she'd tell me more later, then deciding to just ignore me instead. When I decided I'd had enough and ignored her too, she tried to "win" me back with excuses. Which part of those steps demonstrated action or acquisecence on my part?

Graylight · 51-55, F

@plungesponge You give her what she wants. Money. Attention amounting to years. Engaging with her.

plungesponge · 41-45, M

@Graylight I don't think you read the posts correctly. I didn't give her the money, that's why she was upset. I didn't give her attention for years, I ignored her for years and she kept coming back with the same lies.