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Narcissist logic

There's a former coworker who asked me for $500 years ago, then got upset when I asked her what it was for ("Why are you asking me? I thought we were friends, you don't trust me?"). At the time, she told me she'd give me more details but then just started ignoring me, until I started ignoring her in return. That was years ago, and she's spent the time since sending me self-pitying messages about how it was all a misunderstanding, each time I tell her I'm not interested in being friends.

Last month I left the company and she sends me yet another message about how we're true friends and shouldn't let misunderstandings get in the way. So I just ask her, what's her version of this "misunderstanding", she writes back without answering my question, just asking why I stopped talking to her. So I just remind her of the sequence of events andask her where she sees this "misunderstanding".

She just doesn't reply, which is fine by me, but wtf is with these narcissists trying out their lies over and over. Personally if I were in her shoes and sent that last message, I don't think I could look in the mirror knowing I tried to push a lie and it was so blatant I couldn't even explain myself. It's like these people are constantly chasing a life inside their own lies, since a waste of existence.
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SW-User
She's using you. Did she pay you back?
plungesponge · 41-45, M
@SW-User We didn't even get that far. She asked if I could lend her the money, then got upset when I asked what it was for. I didn't even say no, I would have given it to her really, just checking if she was in more trouble than just needing cash. But she got upset, then started saying we weren't really friends because I didn't trust her, and that we'd worked together for 5 years so therefore it was only $100 a year. I decided I didn't need her kind of drama in my work space
Graylight · 51-55, F
How is she a narcissist?
plungesponge · 41-45, M
@Graylight She asked me for money and I asked her what it's for. She got upset at that, firstly saying she'd tell me more later, then deciding to just ignore me instead. When I decided I'd had enough and ignored her too, she tried to "win" me back with excuses. Which part of those steps demonstrated action or acquisecence on my part?
Graylight · 51-55, F
@plungesponge You give her what she wants. Money. Attention amounting to years. Engaging with her.
plungesponge · 41-45, M
@Graylight I don't think you read the posts correctly. I didn't give her the money, that's why she was upset. I didn't give her attention for years, I ignored her for years and she kept coming back with the same lies.
But thats the thing ....they NEVER look in the mirror . They NEVER look inwards .

They are perpetually looking outwards for validation, for suckers, for who they can use, blame, play or manipulate .

And they stay this way BECAUSE they never look inwards .
And they don't look inwards because they are disgusted, shamed and afraid of what they see.

No reflection, no insight, no revelations ...no nothing .
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