Pure narcissism?

I got a letter from my ex, in the letter some things threw me off, I wanted to understand it so bad.. it goes” I promise to never hurt myself” next to “myself “ I can see my ex crossed out the word” you” I wondered if that was on purpose, it was very strange then he goes on about im best person he met and towards the end he mentions loyalty , fidelity, it made me think this is the only thing he cares about. When I was with him he abused me because he thought I was always cheating, I couldn’t wear certain clothing, overall he was controlling, I remember a guy came up to complimenting me and my ex created an argument like if I told the guy to come up to me. I was supposed to be ugly and pretty at the same time it was so scary.The letter just left me questioning the type of person he is ,who he is because his choice of words. It’s creepy and I usually go over it because I want to see his perspective since he’s abusive, idk I’m just a deep thinker and feel you need to read between the lines because it just gives a better understanding of what’s really being said. My ex never says things upfront it’s usually subliminal and it should scare me because I don’t want to ever go back to him ever