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Narcissist...

What is a narcissist?
Signs of a narcissist person ?
Is there help for it ?
ImpeccablyImperfect · 51-55, F
There are so many signs of narcissism.
You would be best to research it for more detailed descriptions. You don’t want to mess around with that shit.

My ex husband is a classic (if not, extreme) narcissist. It was very eye-opening when, upon the breakdown of our marriage, he insisted I go with him to a marriage counselor. I was refusing, simply because I wanted nothing to do with him or with trying to ‘save’ the sham that was our marriage.
Eventually I agreed, simply because I felt I had to make sure before cutting all ties. The one he chose happened to be a full-fledged psychologist, not just a counsellor.
Anyway, I finally went to see her. Alone. (That was my term)
She told me straight up that she WANTED to meet with me, just so she could tell me she had determined him to be an absolute narcissist, possibly with multiple personalities, and to advise me that IF I chose to stick it out and work on it, it was going to take a good 10+ years of HARD WORK (mostly from his side) and even then it might never change him!

So, thankfully I decided to go see her! Who knows..?…if I had wound up choosing to ‘work on’ my marriage I could have been setting myself up for years of disaster

After saying all that I advise you to research extensively to get the answers you seek
😊
smiler2012 · 56-60
🤔 well if you ever followed donald trump and actually listened to his rhetoric and personal glorification you have almost got the answer to your question
CrazyMusicLover · 31-35
🤷‍♀️ I know just what I heard: They are exceptionally selfish, can't see other people as persons, only as their extensions..so they have complete disregard for the needs or wants of others and probably don't even understand what having regard means in the first place. They're dependent on other people because they need validation and being praised, react badly and impulsively to criticism, insults, defamation or mere suggestion they are flawed in some way and in their mind they have the right to take revenge on people who harmed them intentionally or unintentionally or jeopardized their image. They lie and make up absurd stories to make themselves look better, try to dominate, act like know-it -alls despite knowing nothing about the subject, parasite on someone else's success, present someone else's work as their own...
I guess their desperate attempts to protect and enhance their image and subsequent aggression when they feel it's threatened is a giveaway.
SW-User
Basically they love bomb you in the start to win you over with lots of details, constant attention . Then you become a temporary supply for them, until they find other supplies and discard you, become absolutely cold with you ending with everything without any empathy. They lack empathy and everything is about them.
Then they'll try to win you back.
It's a lose lose situation.


Like with any sort of abuse cutting contact is better, you can't gain anything with them.
Supernova · F
A word thrown around too often nowadays and minimizes the severity of true narcissism. It's not a game, or just a self centered person simply being an a-hole.

It's a result of the natural process of individuation going awry. A child goes through a stage of natural narcissism as a toddler. The cognitive separation from mother around 18 months goes through the natural stages of external objectification and grandiosity. If these stages are not completed successfully (itself a result of abuse/toxicity) it results in the high probability of narcissism in adulthood.

A true narcissist is a predator and often not found out until their victim is already ensnared in their psychological abuse. The abuse legitimately affects the way your brain processes reality. It's sick and a horrible thing to experience. I'm still recovering and trying to move beyond the trauma bonding from loving a narcissist.

There are narcissists here on SW. Most will never see it unless entangled with them. Please be careful.

Ynotisay · M
There's a bunch of signs. And as far as help that demands a narcissist realizing there's an issue and getting professional help. But that's the problem. They don't see what they have as being an issue so they rarely seek therapy. And when they do, most often in couples therapy, they use it to their own advantage.

For the individual around a narcissist it's easy. Don't spend time around them.
SW-User
@Sweetpoison THIS makes sense!
Sweetpoison · 41-45, F
They don’t have any feelings, they gonna drain your soul
CrazyMusicLover · 31-35
@Sweetpoison They have many and intense feelings but no empathy and compassion. They are emotional persons but can't make real bonds and attachments with people.
Sweetpoison · 41-45, F
@CrazyMusicLover they are selfish and envious and don’t want to see others happy
Starcrossed · 41-45, F
Also worth noting is covert narcissism. They are subtle and manipulative and to an outsider appear perfect. Relationships with CNs are incredibly damaging because many people will suffer years in relationships until they'll even recognize they're being abused.

Dr Ramani on YT is a very good one to follow to learn about narcissism.
As per Google, Narcissism - Personality qualities include thinking very highly of oneself, needing admiration, believing others are inferior and lacking empathy for others.


I think people who don't want to think things from others perspective but always expect others to accommodate their feelings are narcissists or A**holes.
Anyone who thinks only their emotions are valid others aren't , are narcissists.


Help - most of us don't realise that we are narcissists. We have to accept our faults and be nice. But at the same time make sure to not become a push over.

Finding the balance is the key.
CestManan · 46-50, F
When somebody disagrees with someone else, they call them a narcissist. It's basically just one of those Universal insults.
SW-User
I think too often people label others based on opinion or conflict...not always by the right standards.
WaryWitchWandering · 36-40, F
I worry I am one often. I grew up around them…
basilfawlty89 · 31-35, M
@WaryWitchWandering you're definitely not. From what I've seen you don't meet the requirements.
WaryWitchWandering · 36-40, F
@basilfawlty89 that gives me hope
SW-User
@WaryWitchWandering Nah, the fact that you are questioning it says you aren't. A narcissist would never do that. They would be in total denial.
Magenta · F
If they are an ex, they are a narcissist. 🙄 #sarcasm.

There are all the typical explanations, and we all have some traits. But for someone to truly be one, to the core, they would probably have to be professionally diagnosed from long term behavior.

ETA: Do some research from a legit source. 😊
Some characteristics of a classical narcissist:
A grandiose self image. A very inflated ego. A continuous need for attention. A big urge to be admired. And if that admiration is lacking or the narcissist is criticized, which is even worse, he lashes out recklessly.
SW-User
SW has many on here
Eddiesolds · 61-69, M
No there is no help for them. I work with a few of them. So disgusting! Iv3 walk3d away from people that i know that are narcs. Talk about them being pissed off. I dont care. Id rather be dead than hang with them.
SW-User
For the general public it's most times just the easy label that insults someone the most. Lot's of times it's projection which is ironically a trait of narcissists.
basilfawlty89 · 31-35, M
Lack of remorse and empathy
Fantasies of ideal power, wealth of success
Elitism
Puffery
Inflated sense of self importance
Think others envy them or they envy others
A sense of entitlement and require constant admiration.

They're easy to spot in relationships. They will love bomb you and move very rapidly in a relationship.
JackJames · M
Generally if everything revolves around them, they are a narcissist.
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therighttothink50 · 56-60, M
Barack Obama and his wife.
uncalled4 · 56-60, M
Probably the worst people, ever. No, there is no help, as one of the criteria is "lack of self-awareness".
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