Narcissistic Relationships Create a Spiritual Injury [I Want To Spread Narcissism Awareness]

@Mandalorian Yes narcs are very skilled at dissembling and at smear campaign,it seems that it is the only thing they are good at because they ressent anyone who has beautiful and creative abilities,anyone who might be "better than them"and they do their best to sabotage or destroy those abilities.

@berangere That is a fact...I used to sing...I will never sing another note in my life because of it...the thought of it all makes me feel sick inside...I even subconsciously destroyed my singing voice by chain smoking as a result of what happened...and I wanted to destroy my voice, that is the worst part...and just one small part of my story...

@Mandalorian I am so,so sorry to learn this,please share your story if you can,narcs are evil's foot soldiers,people must be made aware of them so they can better recognise them and protect themselves,my own narc tried to make me lose my job by wanting me to see a paychiatrist and as a registered nurse I would have in the 70's because he would have made sure my employers knew about it,that was the plan,because he did not want me to be "better than him" he admitted that much as he ressented people who were better educated than him.

@berangere my life has been completely and utterly destroyed, and the worst is yet to come...even now, they are scheming and planning their next move...

...the irony of their plans is unbelievable...as is the depth and scope of my story...no one would ever believe it without thinking me completely insane...which was their plan from the start!

If only I had the strength and knowledge back then that I have now...

I was even taunted by one of them that I would need to find a "supernatural level of forgiveness", another told me that they wanted me "to never change" my good nature, another told me "I want you to contemplate the Crowning with Thorns"...

...those three cases alone spell premeditation of what they were planning to do to my wellbeing and health on their part...

@Mandalorian Yes it sounds quite sinister and people who have never suffered from narcissistic abuse or had to deal with narcissists in their lives just would not understand and yes,they would think you are making it up! Can't you get away from those people? You are not their prisoner,if they are so toxic and destroy your life you must get away from them,you know they are toxic and that they are harming you,you have still got the insight to see it,so you must become your own best friend and GET AWAY,it will not be easy but you MUST.

@berangere all three of those individuals knew that I had suffered from clinical depression previously and had experienced suicidal ideation...that is why they did what they did, and their original plan was that I would commit suicide and any evidence against them would die with me...

...I have nothing to do with them anymore, but I will never get away from them because the 24/7 flashbacks never go away...

...trauma is real, the effects are devastating and lasting, and the trauma sufferer is always wounded at a soul level...

...such a thing is diabolical in design and nature, and can only be described as the purest of evil!

@Mandalorian @Mandalorian Can you talk to your doctor and be put in touch with a therapist who specialise in narcissistic abuse there are some now in my young days there were none as narcissism was not known as it is now.You must talk to someone trained in that area,you cannot continue to suffer like this.

@berangere I am in the process of doing that...it is difficult because after saying each part of what happened, I need extended time out...the whole thing of recovering is very protracted and very fucked up to deal with emotionally and spiritually!

@Mandalorian @Mandalorian Yes it is extremely difficult as you must be suffering from CPTSD and will experience flashbacks and also a fair amount of anger at those people and even yourself for allowing them to treat you like this,coming from a family of narcissist and being their target I too often still feel angry at myself for allowing it and not standing up to them,but at the time one is very vulnerable and this is why they are picking on you in the first place,and you may even believed you deserved such treatment as they were beating you down emotionally.Yes recovering from that kind of abuse can take a very long time,but it must be done and you must be kind to yourself.There are groups of people who have gone through narcissistic abuse and get together to support one another,may be your doctor will be able to put you in touch with such a group as you need support while recovering.

@berangere the outrage is hard for me to contain...it assaults me in constant waves, and being a naturally "think aloud" and impulsive personality type, bottling it all for so long only led me to risky and self destructive behaviour patterns (that were already in place from prior traumatic experiences) and only worsened as a result of that abuse...all of which was calculated for and by the abusers...

...they put me in a position where everything good I ever did or intended to do was labelled as being motivated by evil, and then every self destructive behaviour as a result was immediately viewed as evidence of their claims...

...narc people like that deliberately place you in a no-win situation, and after a long time of being subjected to it, you start to believe everything that they say about you...you start to hate yourself and you start to believe that their narrative that you are the personification of evil is in fact true...

...I cannot put into effective words the depth of the despair I felt and feel as a result, and just how fkn pissed off I am about that!

@Mandalorian Yes narcs are diabolical,they don't think the same way as the rest of us and they do not have a conscience nor remorse for the harm they inflict on others,this is what is called evil and they are very good at passing themselves off as the victim.This is why you should find a counsellor who can help you on the road to recovery by letting you express what you feel, as unqualified people cannot fully understand how you could be feeling after going through such abuse and gaslighting,it also distresses people and they want to get away when they themselves have had relationships with normal people who never harmed them and find it hard to believe that some people can be so cruel and destructive to other human beings.You cannot keep on ruminating on all those things,you need to express those feeling to someone who can put them in perspective and give you the support you need,someone who will believe you,someone who is not dismissive or comes out with platitudes like "you must forgive and forget" or "get over it" for example, because basically they just do not want to hear what you want to tell them and then they will start avoiding you.

@berangere this is true...after a while you start to distrust people altogether and isolate yourself...people say you are bitter, and to a degree they are right, which aids the abusers narrative...

...there was I time I had all my groceries delivered because I would break out in uncontrollable sweats and shaking just from being in crowded places...it still happens now, but not so frequently...

...it affects your personal relationships, turning you into an antisocial type, which makes people think you're a fkn abusive asshole!

...the irony of that is unbearable!

@Mandalorian Yes relationships good and bad can really affect who you are and who you can become,I hope you are getting treatment for your depression,I am glad you are getting over your fear of being surrounded by people in crowded places,but as I said you cannot do this all on your own you need professional support to help you heal and restore your confidence,because there are nice people out there,I never got any help from my family (so called) but I got help from good people when I needed it,sadly I did end up wasting 7 years of my life with another narcissist but I left him regardless of his threats of suicide and that was one of the best things I ever did,as I would have no life now had I not, as they take everything of value away from you. Please find a counsellor who understands narcissistic abuse and will give you the support you need,we can find them now,unlike years ago when narcissists could fool the best of them.