Mood dropped like a sack of potatoes and hit me like a ton of bricks

When going home an hour ago, after celebrating oldest sis' bday (and her boyfriends dads bday aswell) my mood suddenly dropped like crazy.

I think it's because my 40th bday is in just over 6 months, and mom keeps insisting on celebrating that day. I haven't celebrated my bday since my early teens.
Something about "everyone" suddenly caring and wishing me a happy bday makes me feel especially lonely. Probably bc I hardly ever talk to most of them the rest of the year, so it feels fake.

Also, mom makes everything about her no matter the occasion, so she takes it personally when I tell her I don't want to celebrate.
I'm her first born, so my bday is her day of celebrating being a mom, and she loves attention. I hate being the center of the attention. But bc it's technically my day she insists on grabbing attention by using me as an example of how great a mom she is and yada yada yada. She's not a good mom at all, however, which makes it even more awkward.

Anyway, I'm already dreading my bday this year bc of her.
All I wanna do is stay at home with Pantera (my cat, not the band) like I do most days.

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Picklebobble2 · 61-69, M

Just tell her you have other plans.
Don't engage beyond that.

TheRealBarbossa · 36-40, T

@Picklebobble2 she's to much of a narcissist to accept that.

Example: my sisters father in law turned 80 today, the same day sister turned 38.
The FIL and his wife wanted a lowkey celebration, so they booked a hotel room nearby so sis, her boyfriend and his parents (aka FIL and MIL) could have dinner together at a restaurant yesterday, then enjoy a hotel breakfast (sis and her bpyfriend got a gift card for free hotel breakfast from me) before having dinner and cake at my sisters place, with sis' kids present.

Mom found out, joined them for dinner yesterday, booked a hotel room, joined them for breakfast, and spent all day with them, making everything about her (as usual)

(Boyfriend and his parents live an hour away, so the hotel was to make it easier)

Picklebobble2 · 61-69, M

@TheRealBarbossa ...so the question is who blabbed where they were going ?
Somebody must have let her know.

And they could still have left even after she arrived couldn't they.

TheRealBarbossa · 36-40, T

@Picklebobble2 sis was forced to tell her.

Long story short: mom is an absolute psycho, and if anyone says anything she disagrees with she threatens to end her life in a way that makes that someone a suspect.

She's given us detailed plans multiple times over the years, so we all know she's capable of framing us.

My sisters and nieces all hope she'll end it, but mess up doing so in such a way noone will be held responsible. Even stepdad (the father of my 2 youngest sisters) hopes so, because he's too scared of her to simply divorce her.

Picklebobble2 · 61-69, M

@TheRealBarbossa 'forced to tell her' ?
You give her way too much power over you.

Anyone who threatens you is committing a crime !
Have her arrested and follow through making a complaint of harassment.

TheRealBarbossa · 36-40, T

@Picklebobble2 word against word doesn't work here in Norway, sadly.

And yes, she forced my sister to tell her about the plans. Otherwise she would have threatened what I described above, or worse.

I don't blame you for thinking she's not as powerful as I describe her to be, but I promise you: she's horrible and scary af. Not to mention capable of anything.