Doctor update.
I went to the doctor today, and I’m trying not to spiral, but the truth is I’m scared.
My blood work came back concerning. My white blood cell count is through the roof, and my platelets are low. When you add that to everything that’s been happening lately—the racing heart rate, my blood pressure jumping all over the place, the lack of appetite, and the weight loss—I can’t just brush it off as “probably nothing.”
The hardest part is that I’ve been through enough medical issues over the years to know that a simple test result is never just a simple test result. I’ve sat in too many doctor’s offices. Heard too many versions of “we need more testing.” Waited for too many phone calls that changed everything.
So now we’re doing more tests.
Maybe it’s nothing. Maybe there’s a reasonable explanation for all of it. But right now my mind is stuck somewhere between fear and exhaustion. I’m tired of my body feeling like a mystery I can’t solve. I’m tired of wondering what the next test is going to show.
And now I have to somehow put all of this aside and get through the rest of the day. I have responsibilities, work to do, people depending on me. But if I’m being honest, that’s going to be easier said than done. Between not sleeping last night and walking out of that appointment with more questions than answers, I feel completely drained.
I wish I could say I’m handling this well, but the truth is I’m terrified of what comes next.
My blood work came back concerning. My white blood cell count is through the roof, and my platelets are low. When you add that to everything that’s been happening lately—the racing heart rate, my blood pressure jumping all over the place, the lack of appetite, and the weight loss—I can’t just brush it off as “probably nothing.”
The hardest part is that I’ve been through enough medical issues over the years to know that a simple test result is never just a simple test result. I’ve sat in too many doctor’s offices. Heard too many versions of “we need more testing.” Waited for too many phone calls that changed everything.
So now we’re doing more tests.
Maybe it’s nothing. Maybe there’s a reasonable explanation for all of it. But right now my mind is stuck somewhere between fear and exhaustion. I’m tired of my body feeling like a mystery I can’t solve. I’m tired of wondering what the next test is going to show.
And now I have to somehow put all of this aside and get through the rest of the day. I have responsibilities, work to do, people depending on me. But if I’m being honest, that’s going to be easier said than done. Between not sleeping last night and walking out of that appointment with more questions than answers, I feel completely drained.
I wish I could say I’m handling this well, but the truth is I’m terrified of what comes next.
