@moonthesolitary: I've been there, even attempted suicide, and though advice from others has limited value, please remember how easily our minds can spin out of control, sorta like a rolling growing snowball -- despair, panic, or even just a big blob of blah nothing. It's a bad habit of ugly perspective, a trap easy to get into, and only a tiny bit of work & trust in yourself to escape. Because the effort to focus on something else feels forced at first, it's too easy to call the effort phony BS. Fake it til you make it, the 12-steppers say. It helped me to think of the difference between this pain and, let's say, some catastrophe like an earthquake forcing you to abandon everything you were feeling to focus on immediate survival. Life suddenly feels much more precious -- my point is how quickly your perspective can change, and how a lack of problems can create the depression problem. So many of the world's people are too busy dealing with their hunger and/or illness to obsess on their feelings. And like an exercise program to go from flabby to healthy toned muscles, a little bit of work regularly, steadily applied soon yields results. Mindfulness meditation, sitting still, listening to my deep gentle breathing, returning to a safe core where I know I'm safe & comfortable, then calmly looking & listening to my surroundings without value judgment, just simple facts at first, built my self-confidence. Pardon me, don't mean to get preachy. Peace & best wishes. Not proudly but thankfully.
