I Battle Depression
In 2012 I had planned it out. I even did research on the Gulf Stream....how close it comes to Cape Hatteras.
How far I would have to row out with a small inflatable boat. How long would the bottle of meds take?...etc.
I would go thru bouts....fighting off the hurt...the pain....the feeling of worthlessness.....the loneliness. Then I would think about my kids....my family...my parents. The pain they would have to endure.
Today those thoughts still occasionally come up. I'm talking to a therapist now. She's the only one I've ever told about my plan. The only one I've ever confided in.
The antidepressant gets me tired though. I hate that feeling.
Sometimes I still think about getting lost up in the mountains in the Sierra foothills. How long would it take to climb up there to the top?
But I lost my bottle of "meds".
Maybe that's a good thing. 😕
How far I would have to row out with a small inflatable boat. How long would the bottle of meds take?...etc.
I would go thru bouts....fighting off the hurt...the pain....the feeling of worthlessness.....the loneliness. Then I would think about my kids....my family...my parents. The pain they would have to endure.
Today those thoughts still occasionally come up. I'm talking to a therapist now. She's the only one I've ever told about my plan. The only one I've ever confided in.
The antidepressant gets me tired though. I hate that feeling.
Sometimes I still think about getting lost up in the mountains in the Sierra foothills. How long would it take to climb up there to the top?
But I lost my bottle of "meds".
Maybe that's a good thing. 😕
