I Battle Depression

I'm not exactly sure I feel depressed now... I feel strong actually. I feel like ever since my mindset became more conservative in general and I got so upset at the amount of complaining. I myself felt myself complaining less and enjoying the good parts of life. There are definitely moments of very deep fear and social anxiety but the depression... I'm not sure. I feel goal oriented... That nothing can stop me but myself and really I blame myself and I feel that is a good thing. I cry... Very rarely about deep things that bother me. I feel better :)
Even knowing my whole world probably will fall apart before my eyes... I accept it. In a way where Id never think I would before. Maybe I've always just been a positive person. Who knows... I find it odd that the times I was depressed I was in a less fearing unfortunate situation than I am now. Everything got worse while I got better... Sounds crazy doesn't it.