I Am Depressed
Take the feeling of exhaustion and spread it all over. It gets into your meat and blood and bones and then it finally gets to your head. Everything hurts. You move, it hurts. You breathe, it hurts. You blink, it hurts.
Typing this right now, hurts. Physically, it's causing me pain. I have never felt as hopeless as I do right now. I am sick, and sad, there is nothing I can do about it.
And I have tried to do everything. Talk to people more, exercise more, get more sun, surround myself in positive things, tell myself good stuff, nothing is working.
I don't have the energy to do anything. I can't get up in the morning, I can't fall asleep at night. I feel stuck in a limbo that never ends.
It's been like this for years. Sometimes I got better. But it was short. And I never felt really happy. It's like anxiety in your heart. It's a weight in your chest. It never goes away. You laugh but there's a pang of sadness there, always.
And the most messed up thing is that nothing is causing it. My life is good. But my brain is not. It's making me feel like crying even when I can't. Then it makes me feel worse for considering it. It makes me feel worse, and worse, and worse, until I can't feel anything.
I could handle mental pain. But adding physical pain makes my soul want to collapse. It hurts so much. I don't know what I can do to stop it.
Typing this right now, hurts. Physically, it's causing me pain. I have never felt as hopeless as I do right now. I am sick, and sad, there is nothing I can do about it.
And I have tried to do everything. Talk to people more, exercise more, get more sun, surround myself in positive things, tell myself good stuff, nothing is working.
I don't have the energy to do anything. I can't get up in the morning, I can't fall asleep at night. I feel stuck in a limbo that never ends.
It's been like this for years. Sometimes I got better. But it was short. And I never felt really happy. It's like anxiety in your heart. It's a weight in your chest. It never goes away. You laugh but there's a pang of sadness there, always.
And the most messed up thing is that nothing is causing it. My life is good. But my brain is not. It's making me feel like crying even when I can't. Then it makes me feel worse for considering it. It makes me feel worse, and worse, and worse, until I can't feel anything.
I could handle mental pain. But adding physical pain makes my soul want to collapse. It hurts so much. I don't know what I can do to stop it.
