I Have Severe Depression and Anxiety

This is very challenging for me to admit this because for one I'm a guy & also because I'm older. I've had depression & anxiety for years. It's only been this challenging once before which at that time I had checked myself into a psychiatric hospital which is where I met a person that gave me hope. This time I don't have the ability to check myself into a hospital. Therefore I'm trying anything I can think of to find hope again which is why I'm on here posting this. I honestly don't know anymore. I even started working early because I couldn't figure out when I should start so I wouldn't be late. But also because I got bored at home & without interest in any hobbies or having anyone I'm comfortable talking with that was when I just decided to go to work to give me something to do. I don't know how I'm going to get thru this. Not this time. Please dear god help me. Please. :-(