We all get like that at times, I went through a 5 year depression after high school and was just at a stand still in life. Even though I wanted to be dead so bad I just kept my stick on the ice and battle through it until I finally found a way out that did not involve death. One of the first questions you are going to have to ask yourself is why exactly you are depressed, you'll find a 1000 lies before you discover the truth, but once you find the truth things will get easier day by day.
@Erbiumbintheer: Well it is quite personal, so I am not going to go into a lot of detail. But when I was much younger I did something really stupid and I hurt someone real bad that really close to me. I was so young I did not really comprehend what I was doing, but not so young that I did not know better and I knew it was something I should not have done. I almost forgot about it for a while, just too focused getting through school and all that, I wasn't a particularly smart kid so I had to work extra hard to keep, that with all the bullshit just made me put it at the back of my mind I guess. But afterwards when I finally graduated I just got thinking about things and I remembered what I did and I was old enough to comprehend every detail, the most maddening part about remember something bad from the past is it feels like you are making the same mistake over again.