It really pisses me off
When people talk about having anxiety or depression that they’ve self-diagnosed. Feeling nervous or apprehensive about something or feeling a bit sad or grieving is not the same as recognised serious mental health conditions. Anxiety and depression have become terms people use so easily to describe normal emotions everyone deals with at times in their life. The reality of these actual conditions is they are extremely debilitating and impact on every aspect of your life, preventing you from being able to carry out everyday functions.
When I talk about anxiety it is feeling like every second of the day something terrible is about to happen, like an impending doom, it’s having panic attacks constantly and not even knowing what triggered it, having sleepless nights and being so exhausted to function, not being able to leave the house or do anything out of my routine without time to process, strategies to help me cope and someone to physically support me. It’s meant I’m unable to work and has forced me to quit university twice now. It means I am unable to maintain friendships as my anxiety makes me constantly paranoid and unable to trust, driving away anyone who initially managed to get past the issues. It’s constantly feeling like a failure, a burden and disliked despite any reassurances and constant energy spent trying to be a better more likeable person or what I perceive other people want me to be. It’s a constant fear of people dying and being left alone, to the point it becomes suffocating and I have experienced symptoms of grief for people that are still alive as my anxiety is constantly trying to prepare my brain for what is inevitably going to come.
On top of anxiety I also have MDD (major depressive disorder)’ panic disorder, reactive attachment disorder and PTSD.
I understand people feel like they are being helpful but simply telling someone things will get better, or that you understand because you’ve also felt anxious before is honestly so insulting and dismissive of their struggles. I don’t need to people to have experienced what I have, or struggle with things that I do. I know my mental health difficulties are extreme, that’s why I have daily visits from the crisis team, see a psychotherapist twice a week and have a care plan under a psychiatrist. All I need is for people to acknowledge and accept when I say it’s hard for me, not dismiss or minimise it. Being asked if I’ve even tried just doing something just adds to my feelings of failure and my anxieties, if it was that fucking simple the nhs would not have an extensive package around me just to keep me alive!
When I talk about anxiety it is feeling like every second of the day something terrible is about to happen, like an impending doom, it’s having panic attacks constantly and not even knowing what triggered it, having sleepless nights and being so exhausted to function, not being able to leave the house or do anything out of my routine without time to process, strategies to help me cope and someone to physically support me. It’s meant I’m unable to work and has forced me to quit university twice now. It means I am unable to maintain friendships as my anxiety makes me constantly paranoid and unable to trust, driving away anyone who initially managed to get past the issues. It’s constantly feeling like a failure, a burden and disliked despite any reassurances and constant energy spent trying to be a better more likeable person or what I perceive other people want me to be. It’s a constant fear of people dying and being left alone, to the point it becomes suffocating and I have experienced symptoms of grief for people that are still alive as my anxiety is constantly trying to prepare my brain for what is inevitably going to come.
On top of anxiety I also have MDD (major depressive disorder)’ panic disorder, reactive attachment disorder and PTSD.
I understand people feel like they are being helpful but simply telling someone things will get better, or that you understand because you’ve also felt anxious before is honestly so insulting and dismissive of their struggles. I don’t need to people to have experienced what I have, or struggle with things that I do. I know my mental health difficulties are extreme, that’s why I have daily visits from the crisis team, see a psychotherapist twice a week and have a care plan under a psychiatrist. All I need is for people to acknowledge and accept when I say it’s hard for me, not dismiss or minimise it. Being asked if I’ve even tried just doing something just adds to my feelings of failure and my anxieties, if it was that fucking simple the nhs would not have an extensive package around me just to keep me alive!
