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I need to work on leaving my country to achieve some of my goals in life, but i feel so depressed and negative.... I keep postponing things 😔

I feel everyone, men ( especially) and everything in life is against me, happiness or love is not meant for me. Even if i find someone i feel he can't love me and will abuse, dislike, leave or betray me.
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With respect, you also should consider getting counseling to deprogram the messages you have already received from some toxic upbringing.

Otherwise, you’ll take them with you, no matter where you move or with whom you subsequently connect. 🥺