I exist soley at the behest of others.

For God. A few people I deeply care about.

I usually try my best to be positive. But lately, I must be honest, I am biding my time on this rock until I elapse or it implodes. Which ever comes first.

Some days I can't tell.

I have no love lost for the world and many of the people in it.

But I am sad for the suffering of good people.

I know when my time comes, I will finally be at peace.

In the mean time I do what I can to make the wait bearable and sometimes even enjoyable... Rarely.

Fuck 2022. What a demented evil year.

So much has happened. Things are better now objectively, I am just worn down to hell from the trauma of this hellacious year.

Logically I know it's in large part bad brain chemistry. But in my heart and soul I feel something horrible is going to happen. This sense of sheer doom.

Jesus help me, and Jesus help us all as a species.