It is back [I Battle Depression]

@BigAssLeech I trust no one...

@SW-User I'm sorry. Trust issues make it even harder, and that's something I still struggle with a bit too. But if you ever need a stranger to vent to, just know I'm always willing to listen. I know how crippling this is, and I just want you to know you aren't alone.

@BigAssLeech thanks
I have never felt this alone in a very long time
Today is rough
I forgot how debilitating this can feel

@SW-User I understand. It's easy to feel alone, especially when you're constantly battling your own mind, and you don't always win. Being trapped inside your head when it's messy, disorganized, and chaotic can make it feel like the physical walls around you are closing in and shutting everyone else out. It can feel inescapable and suffocating.

But you've pulled yourself out of this mindset before. You've healed a little bit, or at least distracted yourself long enough to not hurt as much. Being self aware is a huge first step, and one that not many people achieve; yet here you are, admitting there's an issue, that it's gotten worse, and that you feel alone. That's amazing. That's something to be proud of in and of itself.

I don't know what the next step is for you. Nobody can know for sure. But you've got one foot in the door to recovery, and that's what counts at this moment.

@BigAssLeech I think I just need to try to distract myself more with good and positive things

@SW-User That's a good start. Unfortunately though depression isn't cured by distractions alone, even if they temporarily numb the pain. The chemical weirdness is still going on in your brain, and a good therapist along with antidepressants (those aren't always necessary, but I don't think I personally could function without them) are what's really going to give you long term results.

But it's scary to search for those things, and it can be expensive, so it's not always accessible. And that's not okay, but that's not going to change overnight. So, for now, find what pleases you and gives you the most serotonin possible (as long as it's healthy) and run with it. You're doing great. 😊

@BigAssLeech Thanks