I miss the bad times [I Feel Depressed]

Years ago I was in a dark place. The deepest hole I’ve been in so far in life. I’m happy to say I’m doing so much better mentally but occasionally, or rarely I should say, I miss those bad times. I don’t know why. At least I don’t think I do. I can’t explain it or I just don’t know how. I mean, when I was depressed and truly felt alone, there was something very mildly confronting about it in a way I couldn’t feel or understand until after the fact. It felt like there was no one else but me and a part of me felt at peace. But now when I get down and depressed, I feel like I don’t even care anymore. There’s just some facade of myself trying to confront me. Like it’s not even me. I know I’m happier now and I feel very odd about saying this, that I get some sense of nostalgia for the worst time in my life, but I do. Very little but it’s there at times. I don’t understand it and I don’t want to ever be there again but to feel that peace of mind in a chaotic world is something I’ll remember.

novembermoon · 51-55

Sometimes sitting in the darkness waiting for it to pass could be the best thing to do. I think I understand what you're saying. Those times could be cathartic. It could be a time when you feel you're really in touch with your innermost self, even the holes and the voids which could be bigger than you ever know. Being there is not pleasant, but it surely would teach us something about ourselves. Nevertheless, I hope you'd enter a less depressed and more comforting state of mind. Take care.