Feeling Bad About Being a Substandard Personality [I Feel Depressed]
I have lived at my current address for 3 years without making any new friends. There are a lot of possible reasons for this.
I have 5 roommates at my house. It is a very nice two story house, one bathroom per floor. Outside we have a pool, a rose garden, a cannabis garden (indica), and my patio right outside my room. It is quiet in this very rich neighborhood.
I am the oldest person in the house and the only woman here. A few months ago, one of my roommates died. After a while, the room got rented to a new guy; he is the youngest person here (age 56) and the only person here who works full time (as an Uber Eats driver).
I like this guy. He is very lively,very funny with a great sense of humor, and also interesting, has had a wild and crazy life. One of my hobbies is singing; he dances when I sing, saying I should go professional (I'm not really that good). Every day we meet up (not by arrangement, just happens) on my patio and celebrate the day with wine in my case, beer for him and some indica for both of us. I sing, he dances, we exchange jokes.
I started to feel I was finally making a new friend. Unfortunately I was not. A couple of days ago he told me I was too boring to be friends with. He said, "I have to tell you this because boredom is the one emotion I can't hide. And you bore me." So now I know I am not able to make friends; my lonely life is my own fault. I am quite sure that some people here will agree with my roommate 100%. But I need some support today. So please offer me some kind words to help fight my depression over this, OK? I guess I should be grateful my roommate and I are on decent terms, get along, and have a bit of fun every afternoon when we meet up on my patio; things could be worse I tell myself. But I am feeling very discouraged. There are days like today when I wake up believing that my mother was right about me when she said, "The only way you will ever contribute anything good to the world will be making it a better place when you leave it." Some days I wake up wishing the Covid19 virus would just take me out.
All my former friends have either died or moved far away. I do have one friend living in the next town over but she works long hours and has over an hour commute to and from work, and on weekends she has to do her chores. So I don't get to see her much. She has told me she considers me "interesting, fun and a person of good character." So I do have one person in my area who appreciates me; it's just hard to see her due to scheduling. We used to attend church together but now our church services are online so that's how I "go" to church.
Say something nice if you can, OK? I need to have some positive feedback.
I have 5 roommates at my house. It is a very nice two story house, one bathroom per floor. Outside we have a pool, a rose garden, a cannabis garden (indica), and my patio right outside my room. It is quiet in this very rich neighborhood.
I am the oldest person in the house and the only woman here. A few months ago, one of my roommates died. After a while, the room got rented to a new guy; he is the youngest person here (age 56) and the only person here who works full time (as an Uber Eats driver).
I like this guy. He is very lively,very funny with a great sense of humor, and also interesting, has had a wild and crazy life. One of my hobbies is singing; he dances when I sing, saying I should go professional (I'm not really that good). Every day we meet up (not by arrangement, just happens) on my patio and celebrate the day with wine in my case, beer for him and some indica for both of us. I sing, he dances, we exchange jokes.
I started to feel I was finally making a new friend. Unfortunately I was not. A couple of days ago he told me I was too boring to be friends with. He said, "I have to tell you this because boredom is the one emotion I can't hide. And you bore me." So now I know I am not able to make friends; my lonely life is my own fault. I am quite sure that some people here will agree with my roommate 100%. But I need some support today. So please offer me some kind words to help fight my depression over this, OK? I guess I should be grateful my roommate and I are on decent terms, get along, and have a bit of fun every afternoon when we meet up on my patio; things could be worse I tell myself. But I am feeling very discouraged. There are days like today when I wake up believing that my mother was right about me when she said, "The only way you will ever contribute anything good to the world will be making it a better place when you leave it." Some days I wake up wishing the Covid19 virus would just take me out.
All my former friends have either died or moved far away. I do have one friend living in the next town over but she works long hours and has over an hour commute to and from work, and on weekends she has to do her chores. So I don't get to see her much. She has told me she considers me "interesting, fun and a person of good character." So I do have one person in my area who appreciates me; it's just hard to see her due to scheduling. We used to attend church together but now our church services are online so that's how I "go" to church.
Say something nice if you can, OK? I need to have some positive feedback.
70-79, F
