I Battle Depression

I've been thinking about suicide a lot lately, pretty much every day. I've dealt with this so long, since I was a little girl, I'm starting to go numb from it, like it's just a part of me now. I remember when I was 6 praying to God to kill me because I was so tired of being abused. I know I won't but I can't help but think of suicide as a reasonable option. I think of how I'd do it, the steps I'd take, the process. It'll pass, it always does, it's just been hitting me a lot harder lately. Knowing I'm not alone in feeling this way helps a lot, that's why I post on here. It's getting harder to bounce back.

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english · 56-60, M

hey cookie,being on outside of what you feel does nt mean i cant or we cant feel you,i can begin to imagine that you spent most of your life depressed and thinking suicide is the answer,when you use the word abuse is that physical sexual, mental, a combination there of, have you never seeked counseling or therapy, even your doctor if its clinical. i find it hard to believe that posting on here is your only option. i wish you the best karma 🤗

XcookiexbakerX · 31-35, F

@english it was sexual abuse. In reality it's not my only option but in my reality it is. There's no money for therapy but I'd be open to that. Thanks for wishing me the best, everyone replying, letting me know I'm not the only one going through it helps me a lot, not as good as therapy but helpful nonetheless. I've reached out more than once to people close to me and they've all told me to just let go of the past, it's not that easy though.