I Battle Depression

I've been thinking about suicide a lot lately, pretty much every day. I've dealt with this so long, since I was a little girl, I'm starting to go numb from it, like it's just a part of me now. I remember when I was 6 praying to God to kill me because I was so tired of being abused. I know I won't but I can't help but think of suicide as a reasonable option. I think of how I'd do it, the steps I'd take, the process. It'll pass, it always does, it's just been hitting me a lot harder lately. Knowing I'm not alone in feeling this way helps a lot, that's why I post on here. It's getting harder to bounce back.