I Am Depressed
I woke up really not in the mood to do anything, I don't see a reason to exist. I don't see any future to my life, there's only a certain truth and it haunts my existence. I hate feeling 90 y o in my mid 20s it doesn't make sense to be stuck in a broken shell of a body, I was never ready for this shit. It's really only a matter of time till my illness wins the fight and I never got my head fully around it and I shouldn't let it weigh me down this far but may be today I just will.
I wish I was typing this more anonymously than this, I want to hide from everything and everyone I am just too tired at this point and too sad and dramatic. I'm sure that one thing could help though which is to really hide and block the whole world out for a bit. I'll be back once I get my shit together. But again I'll just bury everything back inside, and wait till it surfaces back up again. What is the point of anything anyway. I am tired of everything even the awareness shit I see about my illness makes me feel bad and ironically I'm supposed to be doing my own awareness on Instagram. Imagine typing about all this negativity on there, what a mess of a life. It's time for a little break from SW to pretend that there's something in my life that I can still control.
The thing is nothing triggered these thoughts, I don't get it either I am simply as unstable as a person can be. I am ok I guess this is only what I normally carry around in my own head.
I wish I was typing this more anonymously than this, I want to hide from everything and everyone I am just too tired at this point and too sad and dramatic. I'm sure that one thing could help though which is to really hide and block the whole world out for a bit. I'll be back once I get my shit together. But again I'll just bury everything back inside, and wait till it surfaces back up again. What is the point of anything anyway. I am tired of everything even the awareness shit I see about my illness makes me feel bad and ironically I'm supposed to be doing my own awareness on Instagram. Imagine typing about all this negativity on there, what a mess of a life. It's time for a little break from SW to pretend that there's something in my life that I can still control.
The thing is nothing triggered these thoughts, I don't get it either I am simply as unstable as a person can be. I am ok I guess this is only what I normally carry around in my own head.
26-30
