I Fight Depression and Loneliness Everyday
I'm having a little bit of a hard time this morning. I was looking through my EP downloaded pm's, because I had a lot that were labeled "deleted". I had no idea who these were from, so I was reading through them, one by one. I remember the person the first ones were from, but kept checking to see if anyone else's pm's were there. I did find one that I could not put a name to, but the rest were from one certain person with whom I had a pretty close relationship. It's hard to tell the timeline in these messages, they only contain the date I downloaded them when EP ended.
I was pretty much just skimming through them when I ran across one recounting a pretty hard to take event. I was recounting it to this person. At first, it just made me remember how hard things got then, sometimes. But as I read, all the hurt and confusion came back to me. I have been crying..not bawling or sobbing, just quiet tears continuously flowing.
For the most part, I'm able to not think of the things that have happened much, but every once in a while, something like this happens, and I know that I am not really over the shit, just trudging on the best I can. I know it will not last, but for now, I just feel the heartbreak all over again.
I was pretty much just skimming through them when I ran across one recounting a pretty hard to take event. I was recounting it to this person. At first, it just made me remember how hard things got then, sometimes. But as I read, all the hurt and confusion came back to me. I have been crying..not bawling or sobbing, just quiet tears continuously flowing.
For the most part, I'm able to not think of the things that have happened much, but every once in a while, something like this happens, and I know that I am not really over the shit, just trudging on the best I can. I know it will not last, but for now, I just feel the heartbreak all over again.
61-69, F
