I Am Not Sure If I Am Depressed, Or Just Sad Far Too Often

Honestly I don’t even know what’s going on anymore. I feel like a year or so ago my body was taken over by an evil spirit or something. Maybe that’s too far but like, one day I just woke up and didn’t feel like myself anymore. I feel so lost, nothing that once made me happy makes me happy anymore. I have ZERO motivation and constantly crying about how much I don’t like myself anymore. I’m just so confused, this isn’t me. I don’t know if maybe I’m just really scared for the future or maybe it’s because I miss my mom who is in prison and my brother who’s in the military and my dad who is an alcoholic. I’m in love with someone who doesn’t give a shit about me. Maybe it’s all of the above but I don’t know how to help myself feel better anymore. Some nights I hope I don’t wake up in the morning and I feel disgusted with myself for thinking like this. I wanna be happy again but I’m scared and sad about everything and I feel like I’m going insane. Just so confused. And I need help. Might try to talk to therapist but I feel like I need more than that. I want myself bacccckkkkkkk. Like is this depression? Or what. Idk.