I Battle Depression

Well here I go again, many weeks since i've last complained. I'm still depressed, I'm still full of self-hatred and sadness. I never asked why me, I know if it was thrown down my way then I'm meant to withstand all of it and the more to come.. But how long is it till i have a friend ? When will i ever feel like i'm havibg someone to rely on? Am i really going to end up being lonely grumpy old man ? Is it too much to ask for a friend ? I guess it will always be me, I am my own squad. I dont need anyone. I'm gonna drown myself in studying and boxing. 'll do just...fine.