I Fight Depression and Loneliness Everyday

So many times i think that i have overcome it , but it keeps hitting back and it feels so shameful to talk about it with anyone . I tried (still do) everything to get over it , been a loner , very few friends , whoever knows me don't have even a slightest clue about what goes in my mind at times and how bad it makes me feel of myself , these negative thoughts they just keep on running in my mind making me feel i am nothing , although i know i am capable of achieving so many things but these thoughts make me give up or the worst won't even let me try . I have a belief system which helps me but that also sometimes break down at times and i have to build that up again . I just don't what will happen with me , whether i am going to achieve my dreams or am i going to die the same way which i really don't want . used sw for the first time to write my inner dark thoughts and i feel a little less burden . God Bless you all good people