I Battle Depression

well ....here i am.... still alive. another day i regretfully survived. they say thank God that i didnt die. but all i can ask God is why? im tired of living im tired of false hope. im tired of people thinking that im some joke. too many yeses theres no pleasing these folks. their whole persona changes when i tell em nope. why do it feel like my life is cursed? i feel theres no reason for my birth. i hate myself i have no worth. i dont care to live on planet earth. all i want is to feel important. but instead i wish my parents had an abortion. i grew up a screw up, thats my misfortune. let it all out. no! instead i will tell only a portion. will i feel better if i go to a therapy session? i know that i have built in anger and aggression . i constantly battle depression and to die is my suggestion. are you willing to help me after im done with my confession. i get told theres others who have it worse ..dont you think i know that?! you expect for me to be happy and content with me knowing that fact! i know most think a brain is something that i lack. im just sick and tired of failing when i try to improve my stats. so far i most likely will not get married. ill have no child to proudly carry. im single, im alone until i am buried. i guess a love life is unnecessary. God can i just please cease to exist. that is a prayer not just some wish. im done asking for any positive assist. these negative thoughts are hard to resist.