I Am Depressed Because I'm Lonely

I realize I am the only thing stopping me from branching out, and having people in my life.
Yet it feels that each time I put myself out there as I am to find people, it failed. And you get tired of the rejection after a while, and I question myself and invent all of these reasons.
It seems like a fact to me that every one else already has what they need. And people's friend groups are all filled up with no vacancy.
Being the lone wolf was fun for a while. And now it is tough to re-enter society.
People are scared of those they don't already know, I convince myself. Maybe I am afraid of keeping on laying my vulnerable self on the line.

So it's tough to know that I am the one who has to make a move. I find the courage to do just that, but the repeated results of being treated like an alien from some other planet sure makes trying a tough gig.

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SW-User

I feel you. It’s nice to at least read stories like this that I can relate to. I know that it’s up to me as well, but it can get tiring trying over and over to connect with people. ❤️

LomeMarsupial

@SW-User I guess there are dances into relating to people superficially. Enthusiasm in knowing people beyond the.. you know, the small-talk, is like a iron ball that casually busts through where you're not supposed to be open. Strangers are guarded from strangers. So secure against getting hurt, but without risk there isn't a whole bunch to gain.
Obviously it isn't much of a heart-felt or straight-shooter world any more (emotionally or w/ out 'business aspect'.)
But the rarity in finding people with enthusiasm for life which is lovingness without penalty goes a long way. Otherwise, it's good to make sour faces at people if they treat you like an alien, or maybe one day human kind can roll down one big and long hill.
Without stones, of course. And some shoulder-chips and ho-hummedness will rattle off. But it's so blazing hot today, even an ice cream will melt in a nanosecond.
Sometimes 'Keep on truckin'!' ain't enough. But it's truly a triathlon to not want to turn planet earth into a bubble rave, with wonderful sammiches.
iunno, now I sound like a darn floozy