I Battle Depression and Anxiety
I have come to the point where I feel nothing but sadness daily.
I cannot sleep. I wake up in ungodly hours after only few hours of sleep which causes me to sleep more during the day. I worked in a place (hired work) where I did not enjoy the work that much but it paid well cause it was during the night. They decided to cut the hours and now don't offer me any hours at all. I have been trying to find a job but I don't know what the problem is cause I have only got a call back once.
I have a university degree and I want to go finish my education but have not gotten into university (in my country the competition for places to study is extremely rough). I have tried 3 times (+ 3 times before my bachelors). Every year I get older and achieve nothing. Just work in meaningless jobs to get by.
My boyfriend and I are struggling with money every month. I have started to feel too that my boyfriend blames me for my situation. He is so stressed about his own work as an entrepreneur and making ends meet that he hardly sees me. Everything is fine between us and we love each other but neither one of us is happy.
During this week I have started to have thoughts that if things continue this way... what is the point of continuing life. This is not even life... just surviving... I used to have many ambitions but I cannot get anywhere. It is like the society does not want me.
Also my family, friends and now my boyfriend too have expressed that maybe I should forget my dreams of the degree that I want to do cause I probably am completely unsuitable for the work cause I am too sensitive. That really hurts me! I have had the will to battle that for three years but now year after year when it gets proven that I am not good enough... I am just feeling done with all of this!
I cannot sleep. I wake up in ungodly hours after only few hours of sleep which causes me to sleep more during the day. I worked in a place (hired work) where I did not enjoy the work that much but it paid well cause it was during the night. They decided to cut the hours and now don't offer me any hours at all. I have been trying to find a job but I don't know what the problem is cause I have only got a call back once.
I have a university degree and I want to go finish my education but have not gotten into university (in my country the competition for places to study is extremely rough). I have tried 3 times (+ 3 times before my bachelors). Every year I get older and achieve nothing. Just work in meaningless jobs to get by.
My boyfriend and I are struggling with money every month. I have started to feel too that my boyfriend blames me for my situation. He is so stressed about his own work as an entrepreneur and making ends meet that he hardly sees me. Everything is fine between us and we love each other but neither one of us is happy.
During this week I have started to have thoughts that if things continue this way... what is the point of continuing life. This is not even life... just surviving... I used to have many ambitions but I cannot get anywhere. It is like the society does not want me.
Also my family, friends and now my boyfriend too have expressed that maybe I should forget my dreams of the degree that I want to do cause I probably am completely unsuitable for the work cause I am too sensitive. That really hurts me! I have had the will to battle that for three years but now year after year when it gets proven that I am not good enough... I am just feeling done with all of this!
