I Often Feel Like Depression Has Me Not That I Have Depression

The feeling of suffocation I can't catch my breath. I feel like I am drowning going to my death. My eyes are wide open but there is no way out. I open up my mouth wanting to shout. But nothing comes out.. silence. The air being squeezed out of me as my darkest thoughts surround me. Numb... I can't move or speak, paralyzed by fear . Isolation... alone, by myself no one is here. I fall deeper and deeper into the darken waters. I sink faster and faster. No fight left in me. I fall down deep in the dark abyss.