I Battle Depression

I have been depressed since a young girl, but I was officially diagnosed  by a psychiatrist near the beginning of last year. Anyways one of my primary doctors had given me pills for my anxiety/insomnia and they are these sleeping type pills. My depression as restarted again due to a car accident that I have recently got into, and I am even scared to drive on the road I used to love driving and now I hate it .  I also have to live with the person who physically and verbally abused me and I have to live with their boyfriend too which is great. Anyways I have been chugging these pill a lot about over 3 or 4 a day to "numb" myself, and I have also been drinking alcohol and I hate alcohol as a way to numb myself.  I know this sounds somewhat dark but this is the situation I have been dealing with. I guess you can say what I am doing is drug abuse but I am not sure it qualifies like that.  But I have transitioned from cutting to taking a lot of amount of pills and I take around 3 at once, and it also helps sedating me so I do not have to deal with any of the stuff going around me .