I Am Depressed More Than People Realize

Something triggered me today, i dont have to be depressed, it will make really bad to me but i cant think on something happy... im feeling im driving crazy with each day it pass. I cant eat nor sleep, and being lonely doesnt help. I wish this shit ends soon, i really dont want to go back with my suicide thoughts... im scared
(dont ask about getting help or doctors, the "help" im getting doesnt help... doctors are the same)