I Am Depressed

Stuff Is Making Me Mad... I've had issues with depression since I was 11. I eventually was put on medication when I wasn't self medicating with other things. I was forced to stay off my mood stabilizer when my mother went all nuts and threatened a lot of BS if I filled my presc<x>ription with her insurance, and I had no money to get it. Though looking back on it now, I miss the mood stabilizer. I wonder if it would do me good lately.
I'm in a rough spot at some point throughout the day. I'm not sure who my friends are anymore. I've felt lost, and I can't bring myself to really talk to anyone. People get annoyed, and fact is, it's my shit to deal with no one else's.
Posting this seems somewhat pointless to me, but it's my only way of talking.
I don't even understand some of what I'm dealing with, and trying to work past, so how could anyone else?