I Am Depressed
How do you explain to a 5 year old that world isn't as bad as it seems? That not everyone she meets will disregard her feelings? That what she's feeling isn't her fault? That someday the things will get better even after she's seen exactly how cruel the world can be? When the only people she had ever loved were taken away from her. After she's seen the light drain from someone's eyes after they found out what she would find out a short 4 years later. All the loving faces that used to surround her were unfairly replaced with people who wouldn't even try to understand her. They emotionally abused her as if the mental scars and trauma wouldn't be enough. She would go on to carry those scars forever, burdened with an ongoing sense of guilt and hatred of herself. It would unfortunately grow to big for her to handle when she was at the young age of 9. When there was no escape from the torment that followed her from her house to school and back again. She felt like the only way to rid herself of the demons was to turn to self destruction. Her inner rage would grow until the dreaded day she decided that this world was no longer for her, there was no place that would accept her for who she was. The only way to stop the pain was to never have to feel it again. Her efforts failed because her parents decided to check on her after spending too much time in a bathroom. Not because they loved her, but to tell her that she hadn't finished her chores. Already she felt like a failure, and her burden grew bigger with each year that passed. Sure, physically she grew stronger, but her heart was fragile, made of glass, hanging on by a thread.
She grew up believing she would never amount to anything besides a nuisance. Unloved by her parents who thought that if they ignored the problem long enough, it would go away on it's own, and they wouldn't have to deal with it. They showed her off as an example of the perfect child she seemed to be. The outside world never knew of her pain, they didn't see how the passion in her eyes faded, how her smiles weren't abefore as they used to be. They didn't see anything that would convince them she wasn't the happy child they had all assumed. The only ones who truly cared about her came along 4 years later. Never needing the knowledge of her past, they would accept her and listen. Get to know her, do everything she had missed out on. These people were the ones who saved her from her endless downward spiral, her long lonely nights, her impending self destruction. The ones she would later write about as her best friends, how she could never articulate just how grateful she was for their lives to have crossed paths. The ones she would never forget for the rest of her life. While her journey was like hell it is far from over, however, there is a light that was never there before. A road to recovery was unveiled and she had the support she never had before. The color that had once been drained from her world, started to come back. It gave her hope for new beginnings. that she would make it.
She grew up believing she would never amount to anything besides a nuisance. Unloved by her parents who thought that if they ignored the problem long enough, it would go away on it's own, and they wouldn't have to deal with it. They showed her off as an example of the perfect child she seemed to be. The outside world never knew of her pain, they didn't see how the passion in her eyes faded, how her smiles weren't abefore as they used to be. They didn't see anything that would convince them she wasn't the happy child they had all assumed. The only ones who truly cared about her came along 4 years later. Never needing the knowledge of her past, they would accept her and listen. Get to know her, do everything she had missed out on. These people were the ones who saved her from her endless downward spiral, her long lonely nights, her impending self destruction. The ones she would later write about as her best friends, how she could never articulate just how grateful she was for their lives to have crossed paths. The ones she would never forget for the rest of her life. While her journey was like hell it is far from over, however, there is a light that was never there before. A road to recovery was unveiled and she had the support she never had before. The color that had once been drained from her world, started to come back. It gave her hope for new beginnings. that she would make it.
26-30, F