I Battle Depression

It's been awhile. I deleted all my stories awhile back, and I need to vent, so I apologize for the rant.

It seems like no matter what I do, I just can't win. Sure, I'll be happy for a day or two, then I just come crashing back down. Thoughts of cutting and just ending it all are constant, no matter how much I try not to.

Every time I look in a mirror, I hate what I see, no matter how much I lift, how little I eat, or what people say; my appearance disgusts me to the core. I used to starve, but I don't even have the willpower to do that anymore.

Obviously, no one gives a shit what happens to me. I'm invisible, insignificant. Completely and utterly alone. I want peace. If it's in death, is it really so bad?

Top | Newest First | Oldest First

JoannaBe

You are still very young and you have no way of knowing what the future will bring. Why not give it a chance? You may think now that death is the most peaceful option but the thing is that when depressed we tend to look and see no options or only one, whereas there may be ways to achieve peace in life.

Hating oneself is a huge problem because it is harder to care about anything else when one cannot care for oneself. Have you tried looking in that mirror and every time saying something positive to yourself? Being brutally honest with oneself when depressed can lead to being honestly brutal. It is important to be honest but without that brutality. You sound like someone who could use a break. If no one else will give you a break, the least you can do is to give yourself a break.

greentea2006

I hope you are feeling better. I have those feelings often myself. and it seems that no one understands. but I do understand how you are feeling

Add a comment...