I Battle Depression

I read somewhere that each and every single one of us have a chamber inside of him where his soul actually lives.. For instance, some chambers would be like a library as its full of books and there's a disk in the middle of the room.. Others would be a beach and full of people and children chasing each other.. Others would be just a park and 2 empty wheelchairs facing the sunset..

Then i started to imagine mine, with all my depression, BPD, insecurities and that crap.. I soon came to realise how would it look like.. It would be a freezing cold and dark room, like pitch black and id be sitting on the floor in the corner while placing my head between my knees..dont even ask how i got that vision but i did..so yeah..

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dfries63

I was in love with this woman who fell in love with me we worked together at the library she was a janitor and I was the security guard it's a bad town that needs a security guard for a library but anyways there was a lot of bad things going on in the bathrooms and homeless people and prostitutes and she fell in love with me she came to America from Mexico when she was a teenager she had never experienced love before and she got married to this terrible terrible person who used her as a slave to take care of the children take care of the house while he went out and partied and drank and took drugs and cheated on her with many women and then she met me and fell in love but we had to sneak around and We were afraid that her husband would kill me or I would kill him and go to prison and she couldn't have any more children and I wanted to have children and she wanted to sneak around until her children were grown because he had threatened them.
until she could go to Mexico where she owned three homes and retire but I decided to go to India instead where I could have my own children

Valencia · 26-30, M

....speechless

Valencia · 26-30, M

Had to read this again, you made a terrible mistake..

Valencia · 26-30, M

Had to read this again, you made a terrible mistake..

dfries63

What was that

dfries63

Here's the rest of the story
I never found out what happened to her she just disappeared into the night because when I came back from India after getting married she refused to see me ever again because she said she didn't want my wife to feel the same way she felt
Well I knew a lady from India who was like a second mother to me and she had always talked to me about finding a wife for me in India and how they honored and respected marriage and they didn't believe in divorce and I would have a good wife and a good marriage so I listen to her and she went there and found a wife for me
Well she went back to India to visit family and she met my future father-in-law who asked her to come to his house to eat and he started talking about his daughter and how she could come to America and she told him the easiest way was through marriage and she brought her picture back to me and I wrote to her father and he wrote back to me then I wrote to his daughter and the marriage was arranged
So I flew to India I'll buy myself and I had a bad experience I landing in Malaysia and had a 24 hour layover which they pay for a beautiful hotel and free meals free transportation which I didn't know about I let this taxi driver Full me and he told me he would be back to pick me up to take me to the airport after he had taken me out for the day and charge me $100 which I found out was way too much and he never came back and I got to the airport late and got in the wrong line and missed my flight that I was stuck in Malaysia for three days before I could get another flight and I didn't find out that that was available until a few hours before boarding and when my original flight had arrived in India they kept waiting and waiting and everybody had gotten off the plane and I wasn't there so they were crying they thought I had changed my mind and wasn't coming but I got a message to them saying that I was stuck in Malaysia my wife wasn't there at the time just her father and her brother
Well when I finally got there there was a overnight train journey to their small village town and it was very uncomfortable I had to sleep on a wooden platform that was meant for to store luggage and I couldn't sleep it was so hard and it was so hot and humid and smelly with all the animal smells because the animals just run wild and the capital city going to the bathroom everywhere including the people
Well I finally arrived in their small village town and they basically locked me in a room with her brother and then we were married and it was strange talking and sitting on the bed with someone i didn't know but she did know English fairly well so I didn't know what to do or say I showed her how to play tic-tac-toe and I took out my car magazines and told her that's a Chevrolet that's a Toyota that's a Mercedes lol
And our first night together and that small primitive room which they built a bathroom off to the side there is no plumbing there and they built the toilet for me to sit on which they don't normally use they just have like a hole in the ground anyways they put all these flowers on the bed and fruit I guess so we would be fruitful and yeah It was very strange sharing a bed with someone you don't know and I hadn't planned on anything happening just plan on going to sleep and she just kept staring at me because her family had told her what to expect from her husband
So it was kind of awkward and she got scolded the next morning because there was no blood on the sheets because I didn't feel comfortable without really getting to know her and I wanted to make her feel comfortable and I was a shy person anyways and so was she
That's just part of the start to the

Valencia · 26-30, M

...daaaaaamm.. That should be a fucking movie man

dfries63

That was just the start the ending was very sad and tragic

Valencia · 26-30, M

Damn :/

dfries63

Here is the tragic ending
We were married for 22 indescribably happy years raising a family when tragically I had to go to prison to keep her from going to prison and I tragically lost her while I was in prison never to hold her in my arms again are to hear her sweet voice say I love you until the end of time ever again but she will always remain in my heart and I will cherish those memories that we made together they will never fade

Valencia · 26-30, M

... Fuck :(