I Fight Depression And Loneliness Every Day

I seem to be having more down and depressed days at the moment, most if the time it is hard for me just to get function.
All i want is to be happy and have someone that understands me and is devoted to me as i am to them is that too much to ask.
I think about my mum alot and would she be proud of me.
I cant talk to my family about any of this as thay dont get it and have always thought of me as odd and an outsider