I Hide My Depression From Everyone Who Knows Me

It is something I have dealt with my entire adult life. I have thought that I have had it under control, but I'm pretty sure that is just a lie I tell myself. I have withdrawn from everyone that has ever mattered to me. I come here and there are friends I have ignored here, ignored could be the wrong word. You try to chat with me and I see you in my inbox, but I don't know what to say to you. I read your questions, but I feel like my brain is in a fog and I just can't find the words to answer your simple questions. I read your stories and I feel I should, no I know I should, empathize with you and give you some kind words of reassurance, but I just can't do it. I just don't have the will to do it. Just writing this stupid thing took so much concentration I could barely do it and wanted to give up a quarter of the way through it. Depression is what it is, a companion that follows you and nags at you, but it is something I would rather it just went away and left me alone.