I Hide My Depression From Everyone Who Knows Me

It is something I have dealt with my entire adult life. I have thought that I have had it under control, but I'm pretty sure that is just a lie I tell myself. I have withdrawn from everyone that has ever mattered to me. I come here and there are friends I have ignored here, ignored could be the wrong word. You try to chat with me and I see you in my inbox, but I don't know what to say to you. I read your questions, but I feel like my brain is in a fog and I just can't find the words to answer your simple questions. I read your stories and I feel I should, no I know I should, empathize with you and give you some kind words of reassurance, but I just can't do it. I just don't have the will to do it. Just writing this stupid thing took so much concentration I could barely do it and wanted to give up a quarter of the way through it. Depression is what it is, a companion that follows you and nags at you, but it is something I would rather it just went away and left me alone.

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Beachlover · M

Best wishes mate, to finish when you wanted to stop showed strength and character, dealing with this terrible affliction is draining and soul destroying and friends weather they are aware of it no matter how close don't have an understanding of the pain and frustration it causes, I am in my second bout fighting this and the last 4 years have been heart breaking , being from Australia on advice of my pysch I travelled to the US for 6 weeks and being away from where I was and the cause , was the best 6 weeks in the last 4 years. I smiled , slept and interacted with people I had never meet before , maybe if you can take a trip away from your environment it may help, but can only send you best wishes and hope that you can beat this terrible nightmare your living.

SW-User

@Beachlover thanks for the understanding and the wisdom of it and I understand what you're going through.