I Battle Depression

I am an average late 40's man. Everyone thinks I am funny and laid back. I have accomplished many things in my life that people admire. Or so I am told often. I am well educated. Financially I am ok. I have a family that loves me and friends that I have been super close with my whole life.

But behind my smile and jokes.. I simply want to die. Tonight, it has come upon me strongly. I know not from where. I am exhausted and very tired. I am broken inside. I feel no joy, only sadness, despair. I am desperately lonely in spite of people all around who love me. No one will ever understand.