Anyone else here dealing with dementia As a care giver?

I co/ take care of my ex-husband's father whom I still call dad. His dementia is progressing. And it is getting more difficult since his wife passed away and I cannot be there full-time. He Is a great man and did much for many when he was capable. Between work and everything else I have to take care of, I've lost Myself in all this. But I'm gaining perspective and Getting some self-care. I need to be good for me, So I can take care of everyone else. But if there is anything I can do to make life a little better for him until we can decide upon home care or facility care, I'd like to try to make him as comfortable as possible and have the best care. Thank you in advance for your feedback , experiences, kind words and help. Its greatly appreciated.💗

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being · 36-40, F

Yes, self care is key in being able then to give to anyone else..
My mom is caring for a lady with dementia, it's her job at the moment. It's not easy but she's utilising lots of humour and it works 🙂
It's tough, her husband has died and my mom needs to remind her all the time, whenever she's asking where is he. But my mom says, whenever she tells her he's died, she never replies and moves to saying something else, as if in the universe she's living, that's impossible to have happened, she doesn't even consider it.
She's living with her daughter but they're paying my mom part time so her daughter doesn't have to carry it all on her.

LaLumieri · 51-55, F

@being I find that humor is wonderful he doesn't get it too often but when he does it's good to hear him laugh and keep his spirits up. His wife Died almost 2 years ago and it's very hard he's still in there home for the moment. Sometimes he asks questions and sometimes he doesn't remember I try to keep only good and funny memories about the 2 of them. And I have noticed him drifting off into a different universe occasionally. He still thinks at times that me and his son are married. I roll with it. I do not want to stress him out. I do put it gently that we do not live in the same space But whatever keeps him calm and happy That's all I care about

being · 36-40, F

@LaLumieri yes no need to argue and stress him out.. you're very considerate to do that for him and care like that. He sounds like a good man and so I trust he's going to have a smooth way...

LaLumieri · 51-55, F

@being He is, hes always very passive before he even took Zen philosophy college courses LOL. He taught me a thing or 2 about de-stressing. But we do have sometimes where Things are hard and I worry about him staying calm.