I’m starting to think I’m bipolar

To be fair, after all this time I’m quite sure 🥲
I’m not sure if a diagnose would be helpful though. Seems pretty pointless. I tried medication for depression years ago and felt like I was no longer myself after a while. Everything felt numbed.

I often think that it comes with pro’s and con’s as well. Of course we all know the con’s, and yes they suck, but nobody ever really talks about the pro’s.

In my moments of euphoric mania, I deliver outstanding results at work and ideas flow, I suddenly think of solutions to complex problems and see a whole process envisioned step by step of how to get to a solution. I honestly see things only a little amount of people do.
It also enables me to work in hyperfocus for about 6 hours non stop if I’m inspired.

But when the coin turns, I want to break off my marriage, leave my job, go on a buying spree, feel like nothing ever makes me happy, have a full blown existential crisis, cry over an hour over something very insignificant, etc.

I’m not sure if I should get it diagnosed and get it out there in the open. It could be helpful for some people to know. On the other hand, I’m starting to recognize the difference and the episodes so I’m not sure if it would actually make a difference.

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

Are the cons worth the pros? Only you can say. I didn't have Bipolar II so I cannot say, but I did have a problem with so-called "flat affect" with Zoloft. I switched to Lexapro and it was far better.

I wouldn't say anything except I had a friend who was Bipolar II and I saw the chaos first-hand. I think it had a long-term effect on his physical well-being.

kimmy159 · F

@uncalled4 I think I’m struggling with that. The pro’s made me get promoted twice in a short time, make me impulsive in a positive way like spontaneous dancing with my kid, spontaneous trips, singing euphorically, spoiling my family and being very caring, bursts of creativity and ideas in general which also benefits family.

The cons well it’s mainly struggling in my mind and behind the scenes, lack of energy and having to force myself to keep everything going. I’ve already learned not to act on those thoughts and emotions anymore so that’s a win.

But with medication, I feel like I might just loose both and go to a neutral state of emotions and accomplishments. Which to me sounds dreadful too.

Reject · 26-30, M

I have some symptoms of bi polar though it was never officially diagnosed. It runs in my family. I think it’s one of the better ways to live as long as you manage it well, though that could be said for anything really.