I Am Bipolar

I was prescribed lamotrigine, 25 milligrams a tablet. I can take 1 to 4 a day with a few hours between each dosage.

Is your bipolar disorder full blown?

No it's not that extreme.

Which bothers you more, the mania or the depression?

Well when I reflect on it, I would say both for a few different reasons. The mania while not as bad as some, has led me to make horrible life decisions in the past. But I never saw the mania as a problem for the longest time because most of my maniac actions were trying to cure the depressive episodes that seem to come out of nowhere. I would do terribly irrational things for no reason but later justify it as trying to be happy and combat the depression. Which obviously is a pretty dangerous way of thinking because nine times out of ten I would just create more problems for myself. Nothing would be solved.

I understand you. What were your manic episodes? I had few psychotic manias, like trying to jump off the skyway, trying to take my heart out literally, sort of crazy things but I also like the mania better. The depression was like a really heavy feeling, I cannot eat. I wanna shoot myself point blank. I am completely aware that I'm trying to end my life.

Have you been like that? Did your impulsive actions made you feel better?

I would rather not say because a lot of it is really personal. But for a long time I was hooked on the freedom of acting on selfish impulse. But medication has helped get rid of that and I honestly feel completely fine now. It was pretty bizarre because not long after I took the first tablet I was totally fine. I remember thinking "Oh is this how normal people feel emotions?". My doctor was pretty surprised when I told her that the dosage and ,medication just fixed everything. I guess i'm just lucky.

I see, good for you. Just continue drinking your meds. 😊 My doctor said that bipolar disorder can be easily treated when the diagnosis is made on its early stages.

I see, good for you. Just continue drinking your meds. 😊 My doctor said that bipolar disorder can be easily treated when the diagnosis is made on its early stages.

I see, good for you. Just continue drinking your meds. 😊 My doctor said that bipolar disorder can be easily treated when the diagnosis is made on its early stages.