I hate being autistic

i was undiagnosed until i was mid teenage years, my childhood was spent being yelled at by my parents because they couldn't understand what what was wrong with me and why i acted the way i did, i cried when i found out. i'm writing this post because im just so tired of not being able to do the things neurotypical people can usually do, i have long days, most of the time i spend it masking and it's exhausting, so i get tired very easily, i have a boyfriend now who i can't show affection or vulnerability to easily and he got kind of upset about it "just act like you love me if you love me" and i didn't even know what to say. im so tired of being awkward and liking stupid childhood things and getting hyper fixated on shit i just want to be able to be a normal person

i feel so out of place

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YoMomma ·

Your bf needs to chill he cant just demand affection if you aren't accustomed to it

FullerSchmidt · 36-40, MVIP

@YoMomma Better yet would be if her boyfriend tried to learn her love languages. Yes, believe it or not Autistic people aren't completely adverse to intimacy, but the usual ways in which affection is shown can be both confronting, but also cause a lot of anxiety.

The reason for this is that most "normal" dating and courtship rituals are intended to subtly engender feelings of obligation and guilt in their subject, with an expectation that anything less than full and complete reciprocation somehow means that the subject of their overtures is rude, or expressly dislikes them. Most people with autism tend to take things very literally, and subtly is lost. So either we'll think that you're trying to emotionally entrap us, or won't know how to respond as showing a tempered and nuanced response is one of the things that characterizes this condition.