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I Hate Alzeimers and Dimentia

Are you warm enough Mom?”

I need to say something.
Anything to help the minutes tick by.

You smile.

“What about a drink Mom?
A cup of tea?”

I desperately try to fill that awkward silence.

I know you won’t reply.
You never do.

We sit there.
Saying nothing.

You smile.

“I’m off then Mom.”

A sense of relief.
My duty done for another day.
You don’t even notice I’m going.

You smile

I wave goodbye, for conventions sake.
But it doesn’t mean anything.
Not anymore.

You smile.

But it’s not for me.
It’s merely something you do now.

Smile to hide your confusion and fear.
I am sorry she is a ghost of her former self. Have you tried other things? Can you sing songs to her? Ones that come from her generation. You would be surprised how many demented or Alzheimer's people can still enjoy music. Another thing is to just touch her. Hold her hand and speak softly to her. Rub it gently. She can still feel and understand loving touch. Sometimes old family photographs spark something. She is in a different world now. She won't enter yours. Bring yourself into hers. Try these.

It is severe to spend time with people who are ghosts like this. My mom ended up demented too. And, at times, violent. But no matter what, she never forgot that I loved her. You could join a support group. And there are people to talk to: social workers, clergy (if you are religious), close friends, etc. I wish you peace of mind.
SW-User
None at all. The curse of an only child. And I am on my own. @PoetryNEmotion
@SW-User Well, I hope you have legal paperwork in place for your mother. I wish you peace, my friend. You sound like a good person.
SW-User
Thank you. Yes all my affairs are in order. @PoetryNEmotion
SW-User
exactly where I am
at least she seems comfortable and can laugh and smile
frequentlyme · 70-79, M
I spent almost 20 years running facilities where we had residents with dementia and Alzheimer's. As hard as it was for the residents to go from the first stages to where they remembered nothing, it was equally hard, if not harder for their families. I saw it tear so many of their children apart... it helps if you can join a support group. Stay strong, I know it's hard. 🌻
SW-User
It’s not been an easy road. @frequentlyme
My heart hurts for you, its a truly awful illness.
SW-User
One of the worst @Stroika
Keepitsimple · 51-55, F
I’m sorry :( Having a parent being physically there but not mentally aware of who you are is the hardest thing a person has to endure
It's important to take all the help and support you can get for yourself as well.
Montanaman · M
Sad. Very sad. I'm sorry that it's hard for you. *Hugs*

 
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