A bit sad/ possible ADHD subject.

Sometimes I will impulsively say stuff but I always try to be kind and if I do say something that isn’t the best manners it’s never on purpose and I’ll beat myself up afterwards for days. I try to be careful but today I had a competition and won an award so I had a bit of adrenaline going with a lack of sleep. It was a scholarship award from getting first place so you get money from it but really doing the competition is so expensive you don’t actually GET money. So I jokingly made a comment and another teacher made a comment but before she could finish I sad oh yea no I know what you mean. I meant it to be in a light hearted way as I was in a pretty good mood from winning the award so I know there’s no way I said it with an attitude. I mean I can’t see myself but I don’t feel like I did. She got upset and said shut up don’t talk to me like that you don’t even know what I’m saying. Now after the award I have been crying because I feel horrible for interrupting and also aggressively being told to shut up.