I’ve been in another mental slump lately

Been feeling low, empty and just in a cold, dark place. It’s my own fault, though. Like always, it can be traced to me just not thinking, not being in control of myself and making stupid decisions that sends me crashing down. I always come out of it eventually, but I wish I didn’t do this to myself. Why do I keep doing it, then? Maybe I am self-destructive to a point and subconsciously set myself up for these situations knowing it’s not going end well for me. I’m quite a case, that’s for sure… But I feel I’m slowly coming out of it again. At least until the next time I do myself like this. 🤦‍♀